The real reason John and I are in Orlando this week is to bring you breaking news coverage of the identification of culprits in a burglary ring at Epcot. Here’s what we know:
Families started reporting missing snacks to cast members weeks ago. The story was always the same; a family would park their stroller to take the kids into a restaurant or on a ride only to return hours, or even just minutes, later to find the stroller ransacked, animal crackers and gummy bears nowhere to be found. We spoke to one woman whose toddler was screaming at the top of his lungs. Unfortunately we aren’t sure what the woman said, because her toddler was screaming at the top of his lungs. He was probably hungry.
Disney instructed cast members to be on the lookout for whoever was swiping snacks. There was speculation that Dora’s frenemy Swiper was on the loose. We also heard discussion that the Aristocats were to blame. The crime ring was cracked open this week though, as Rope Drop dot Net set up cameras near the scene.
What did we uncover? Well, take a look for yourselves. We’re not dealing with mere cat burglars. These crimes are being conducted by some seriously squirrelly figures.
As you can see, there is a long line of strollers here and these animals can simply go to town. For these two, it’s a better breakfast buffet than Tusker House. Those poor unsuspecting families will be forced to pay Disney prices for snacks when they return to discover their off-brand cheerios missing.
Since we here at Rope Drop dot Net only report the news, we were unable to intervene or prevent further pilfering. Disney has been notified of the problem.
In the meantime, we recommend keeping all your snacks in a fanny pack on your person. Fanny packs are coming back in style!
Hunter Pence, an MLB player with a hipster beard, proposed to his girlfriend at the California Grill at the Contemporary with Wishes going off in the background. I’d say that’s a home run. Still not the best WDW proposal though.
Sometimes, your heroes are wrong. In Episode 226 of the Mighty Men of Mouse podcast, our friends Dutch, Kip, and Russ attempted to rank the various lands at Walt Disney World. They did pretty well – see their rankings here: Russ’s, Kip’s, Dutch’s – but they also got some things wrong. Put on some potholders, because here are my takes/rankings.
1. Fantasyland. I knew my top 3 lands without a doubt, but determining the order among the 3 was tough. Ultimately, the first place position came down to the number of offerings. The magic I felt flying on Peter Pan as a child is still present in Fantasyland. The expansion has only made it more amazing. There is just so much to take in and enjoy in Fantasyland; the fact that Kip can say Mexico is better with a straight face proves that he is a cyborg.
2. Main Street, USA. I, for one, CAN feed my family on nostalgia. (And corndog nuggets). A trip to WDW does not feel complete for me without going to the Magic Kingdom, even if it’s just for a brief walk up and down Main Street. Seeing Town Square the first time each trip still brings tears to my eyes. This is my favorite place to watch parades. Also, I like shopping and Meet & Greets (more about that below).
3. Adventureland. Jungle Cruise, people. Don’t take it for granite, it’s my favorite. I really like the Swiss Family Treehouse too, which is often overlooked. Finally, it’s like I have ESPN or something and I believe that Skipper’s Cantina will serve booze and will be my new favorite restaurant at the Magic Kingdom. That was not a typo. You better believe there will be Mean Girls references on this site.
4. Africa. The perfection of this theming has been discussed thoroughly, so I’ll just preface some other rankings by taking this opportunity to point out that I really love animals.
5. Echo Lake. This is probably where takes start to get a bit warm. I still love Hollywood Studios. Quite a bit. Echo Lake and Pixar Place are in the order they are in because, at the moment of writing, I like Star Tours a little more than Toy Story Midway Mania. Also, Echo Lake is not just about Star Tours. I think Jedi Training Academy is one of the most adorable things in the universe and my love for Harrison Ford obviously extends to Indiana Jones. Last but not least, I am not ashamed to admit I sang my heart out at the Frozen Sing Along and loved it.
6. Pixar Place. Having Pixar Place so high when it’s basically just one ride, a coffee cart, and some Meet & Greets is probably crazy. But Toy Story Midway Mania is so so so fun.
7. Future World. East and West have been lumped together because I can’t remember the difference and they would have been right next to each other anyway. Soarin’ is my favorite part of Future World, so whichever has Soarin’ is 7(a) and the other is 7(b).
8. Tomorrowland. I agree that the theming could be better, but the attractions are still great, especially Buzz Lightyear. One thing that killed me the whole MMOM episode was that none of you mentioned Meet & Greets. These are a crucial part of my WDW experience, and Tomorrowland has one of the most unique. #IncrediblesSuperDanceParty
9. Liberty Square. Rounding out my top ten are the other two Magic Kingdom lands. It is by far my favorite park and I am quite content to just walk around without even experiencing any attractions. Liberty Square edges out Frontierland because I like the stocks.
10. Frontierland. Splash Mountain is scary.
11. Asia. I don’t even ride Expedition Everest because it’s scarier that Splash Mountain, but there are tigers in Asia. Enough said.
12. Sunset Boulevard. I hold John’s bag when he rides Tower of Terror and Rock ’n’ Roller Coaster. While I hold his bag, I delight in the Citizens of Hollywood Cast Members surprising and entertaining while dressed in their Old Hollywood garb. I also can’t ignore the Beauty and the Beast show, because Belle was my favorite Disney princess when I was little. She’s second to Leia now.
13. Hollywood Boulevard. I mentioned that I like shopping right? I also like movies and the Great Movie Ride will always have a spot in my heart.
Okay, be careful, because the takes are about to get HOT.
14. Rafiki’s Planet Watch. Hey MMOM fellas, your ranking of Rafiki’s Planet Watch was NOT COOL. There are animals, some of them BABIES, and you can PET them. YOU CAN PET THE ANIMALS. It’s also educational.
15. Animation Courtyard. This would have been in my top ten before they closed the Animation Academy and the character Meet & Greets there. The only reason it’s as high as it is now is because One Man’s Dream is still hanging on by a finger. It will break my heart if this does not come back somewhere. I like museums almost as much as I like theme parks, so this is the best of both worlds for me.
16. Mexico Pavilion. What the MMOM said. This pavilion is just phenomenally done. You can also meet Donald, in a sombrero. (For the record, Donald’s in the sombrero.I guess you could be too, if you wanted.)
17. Italy Pavillon. After Mexico, I ranked the Epcot countries based primarily on food, shopping, and Meet & Greets. Italy has my favorite food. I also think the theming at the lake edge is done better in Italy than it is some of the other pavilions.
18. Germany Pavillon.I like Biergarten for the experience. And the beer. I like beer. And caramel. And animals. You know who else likes animals? Snow White. Germany is the best place for you to meet Snow White outside of a meal. She gets swarmed at Town Square.
20. France Pavillon. I think we all recognize by now that L’Artisan des Glaces does really, really good work. France also has good lakeside theming, Aurora, and Belle in her adorable peasant dress.
21. United Kingdom Pavillon. I like pub atmospheres. In terms of Meet & Greets, you’ve got Tigger & Pooh, Alice, and Mary Poppins. They also sell Her Universe merchandise in the UK Pavillon which is awesome. (Instead of Patreon sponsoring, you guys can just buy me Alex & Ani bracelets and things from Her Universe).
22. Morocco Pavilion. Very well themed. You can meet Aladdin and Jasmine.
23. China Pavillon. This would be the lowest ranked country for me except for the fact that the China pavilion is the only place you can meet Mulan outside of ameal. Mulan is a badass.
24. Discovery Island. There are several Wilderness Explorer Badges to be earned on Discovery Island. The Tree of Life needs to be looked at up close. And you can meet Pocahontas, and several other characters (like Dug).
25. DinoLand, USA. These rides are my speed. And the boneyard is quite fun. Even for “grownups.”
26. Streets of America. I think the Streets of America are pretty meh. I obviously love the Osborne Lights, and that puts this land above the next three, but the lights are all that Streets of America really has for me. Lights, Motor, Action is just hot and loud, and I’ve never really been a Muppets fan outside of Muppet Babies.
27. Japan Pavillon. Shopping! With swords! And pearls! I also like the Koi.
28. America Pavillon. Full disclosure: I’ve seen the movie thing like once. I’m also a bit of a contrarian. But really, the food is terrible, and our country has a lot more interesting time periods than the colonial days.
29. Canada Pavillon. Oh Canada. You’re a very nice hat. And Buffalo Plaid is nice. Sorry for ranking you so low, I’m sure you’ll understand.
30. Oasis. I thought about putting the Oasis above America because animals, but that would have just been mean.